vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
