I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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