You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
