I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Someone came in the potted fern
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
