oh god the rape fog is back!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
