grandma shit on top of the toilet
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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