But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
