She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
