You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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