but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I could fuck to npr.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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