I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
