bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
