Its about making memories worth repressing
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
