weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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