I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
