i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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