idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
