You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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