i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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