Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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