just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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