Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
