Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
