I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
