can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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