have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize