Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
