well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
