it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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