I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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