how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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