so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
