I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
