i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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