soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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