thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
