he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
