My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dick very happy bro
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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