I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
