I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
