i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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