At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
