We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
