I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize