drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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