you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
