Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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