I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
