i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
