Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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