NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
