in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
