so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
