I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
