I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize