i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
