two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
