so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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