You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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