remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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