Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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