my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
