are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
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