sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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