I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
