i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
