oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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