one two three fourrrrnication!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
