idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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