Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
