How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize