just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
