Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize