I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
