I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Your cock deserves a montage
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
