if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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