New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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